In working with people and their horses, I have often noticed something strange and quite inexplicable: The effect that a rider's mindset has on his horse. For instance, a rider will be nervous and say that his horse is going to spook, buck or bolt. Inevitably it happens. Now take that same horse and put a different rider on its back – sometimes even a less-experienced rider – and the horse doesn't even think about doing those things.

Another side of the same coin is the rider walking a showjumping course. At a certain jump, he says: "Oh no, my horse will never jump this!" Again, the rider is correct. The horse will jump every single jump in the course without a problem, but at that specific fence, he will dig in his heels.

Could it be that horses understand our words, read our minds or pick up small, almost imperceptible signs from the rider? Does the horse then say: "Ok, you want me to buck / bolt / spook / stop, no problem, you are the boss, I will do whatever you want?" In fact, if this is the case, does it not prove how incredibly accommodating and compliant horses are? They want to please and if those are the expectations the rider has for the ride, the horse is happy to oblige.

Mind power

Perhaps this tells us more about the rider than about the horse. A rider needs to learn to ride with his body as well as his mind. With his body he is able to balance on the horse and do the physical things that need to be done in order to ride a horse, but with his mind, he controls everything else.

Much has been said and written about mind-power and the power of positive thinking. It takes the line that what you believe, will happen; that we create our own reality. It tells us that the mind can be trained or even tricked into focusing on positive outcomes, making it more likely.

Negativity invites negative things: The person who constantly talks about and fears having his car stolen, will almost inevitably have his car stolen. Just so, the nervous and frightened rider will – almost without fail – have a terrible ride.

The trick, they tell us, is to repeat positive statements to "train" the mind into a positive frame, creating a positive attitude. However, the mind cannot differentiate between positive and negative statements. Take the example of someone telling you not to think about a purple elephant with yellow spots – what is it that immediately comes to mind? The trick is to make a positive statement such as: "I am safe / I will have a good ride".

Physical signs

Horses do not have to be psychic to sense a ­rider's mood – they pick up on fear, nervousness and tension in the rider's body, as well as pheromones the body secretes when ­frightened. They can hear the tension in the rider's voice and the rapid, impaired breathing. Tense or frightened riders also tend to crouch forward and cling. Being sensitive animals, horses notice and react to this – in fact anyone watching from a distance can see it!

The simple explanation could be that horses are herd animals that have a definite structure, with one horse taking the lead and acting as protector, while the others follow. In their relationship with people, horses are used to having to follow, with people assuming the leadership role. This is right and feels safe to the horse, having the human taking the lead and "protecting" the horse.

In the case of a very nervous rider, that rider is not taking the lead. Knowing that the rider is frightened, the horse feels insecure and unsafe, not knowing what the threat is. He only knows that the rider (who is supposed to be the leader) is telling him there is something to fear. As we all know, frightened horses are unpredictable and, being flight animals, will try to get away from anything that may be a threat.

So yes, the nervous rider's fears will come true. The horse will become spooky, jumpy and may even attempt to bolt. It is a vicious circle – nervous rider, nervous horse; more nervous rider, more nervous horse …

Act as if

In her book, Perfect Confidence, Kelly Marks urges riders to "act as if". If you are nervous, look at a confident rider and mimic him. Sit tall, open your shoulders, breathe deeply, lighten your touch on the reins and consciously relax all the muscles in your body. Then ride your horse positively forward with a show of confidence. This will "fool" the horse into thinking that you are confident and taking the lead. He will relax, allowing you to relax, thus making for an all-round more pleasant ride.

Look at some children. They may, without the necessary skills or experience and without thinking, get on a "difficult", sometimes "dangerous" horse and ride him happily and fearlessly without mishap, only to have parents and trainers becoming quite hysterical about it afterwards: "What were you thinking? You could have been killed!" But they weren't. (Please note, I am not advocating putting children on difficult horses, but merely commenting on a phenomenon.)

Due to their lack of conditioning and negative experience, children are fearless; they act naturally and confidently (sometimes perhaps stupidly), but nonetheless inspiring confidence and boldness in the horse, giving us adults something to think about …

Mind readers

Nevertheless, there are those who believe that there is more to it and that horses can tap into our minds and that the way they react to any "messages" we send to them, only proves how much they want to please us.

It is said that horses see in pictures. The moment a rider is afraid that his horse will buck, he conjures up a picture of the horse bucking in his mind. The horse "sees" this and does what the rider "wants". If this is the case, one can treat horses pretty much in the same way as one's own mind – take control. Give the horse the picture that you want.

Horses also do not understand negatives, so it does not help to say to yourself: "The horse will not buck". Rather say something like: "My horse works calmly and is focused on his work." Picture, in your mind's eye, your horse sailing confidently over the dreaded jump in the course and visualise him quietly trotting past the horse-eating lawn mower.

SA Horseman asked world-renowned animal communicator, healer and author, Margrit Coates, to comment on this. Says Margrit: "On numerous occasions I have been asked to visit a 'problem' horse, only to find that the real problem was the inner world of the rider or carer. As prey animals, horses naturally want to move away from chaos, negativity, uncertainty, bullying, and anger.

"Too often the mental and emotional state of a human causes handling and/or riding problems. Horses not only read what is in our minds – they also sense our emotional energy. If it is unhealthy, they will want to avoid being with us, and can become quite agitated in our presence.

"Always around horses we should ask ourselves: What am I thinking and feeling – what unseen instructions am I actually giving the horse?

"Horses seek a calm, confident leader and when we create an empathic inner stillness, the horse will respond to that in a positive way."

Having a bad day?

This could also explain why some farriers, dentists and others who work with horses on a regular basis, know that when they are having a bad day, horses tend to be more difficult to work with. This also holds true for riding.

Yes, it can serve to relax you, but if you want to get down to some serious work with your horse and not merely relax when you are having a bad day, nine times out of ten, your horse will be difficult and uncooperative.

It is perfectly fine to fake confidence and keep your mind in check, but one also needs to be realistic. Nervous / inexperienced riders and highly-strung horses do not belong together. A horse that has been stable-bound for a week on full rations, is perfectly within his rights to want to explode and vent his energy and no amount of "acting" or "mind control" on the rider's part is going to stop him.

An untrained young horse can and will be unpredictable and riders need to understand this. Overconfidence is just as bad as no confidence and can literally get one unstuck. Like in all things, the middle road is always the best: Be positive, be confident, but be realistic and don't be stupid!

The proof is in the pudding

Never mind which theory you believe, the fact remains that the rider's attitude and mind-set directly influence the horse. Some horses, bless them, are school masters and will step in and take care of nervous riders, but on average, most horses do not and it is up to the rider to fix the problem.

So, whatever you believe, take a long hard look at yourself and see if your "problem" horse is not merely reacting to your phobias and expectations of him, or even picking up on your bad day.